List of things I never thought I'd say that I've said today:
- Stop putting your foot in the poop.
- Come here, please. I am allowed to clean throw up off of you.
- 'No' means the opposite of funny. (When I say "no" in a serious voice, it always elicits a laugh.)
- Hang on, I'm just going to get that booger out for you.
- Please stop trying to eat my face. You're getting slobber all over me.