Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Big Talk About Grown Up Decisions

Isn't my niece the cutest? I just want to gobble her up.

Chuk had a bad day at work which was the catalyst for a "come to Jesus" talk tonight. Long story short, his job is in danger. This is hugely problematic since he is our only wage earner. Besides the financial strain, he's feeling extra stressed because he has to be perfect at work. Even one little mistake could result in termination.

I don't know what your partner is like, but mine doesn't like to talk about his problems. However, we've found that when we are both open to talking about what we're going through it brings us closer together. I work hard to encourage him to talk about what's going on by being persistent, asking open ended questions, helping him to verbalize emotions, and being sympathetic. Even though this process can sometimes be exasperating for me, the emotional intimacy is totally worth it. If your partner isn't forthcoming, it really is a worthwhile skill to work on together. I'll get off my soapbox now.

We made a "worst case scenario" plan in case he does lose his job and that helped us both feel a lot more secure. At this point, the WCS plan is for Chuk to move to a smaller apartment, go to grad school in the fall (as planned) and work at a part-time retail job, while I would get a job teaching English in Korea and send remittances home. Yes, this plan would suck because we'd be apart, but it would only be for two years. Besides, people all over the world do this type of thing everyday, so I'm sure we could manage it too.

The non-worst case scenario plan is for Chuk to bust his butt at work for the next two months, or so, to remind everyone how indispensable he is. He will mind all his Ps and Qs, put in longer hours, take lunch breaks outside his office so his "off the clock" time isn't confused with slacking, and he will not use the internet for any personal reason at all. I will pick up more slack at home so he can go to bed earlier and make him lunch everyday so he can be early to work. Additionally, I will stop looking for permanent work (not that I was looking all that hard before) and instead try to start working with another temp agency since I have not been getting very many assignments anymore. We will use any money I make to bolster the emergency fund...which thankfully, we do have.

The reason I won't be looking for permanent work is because we are OFFICIALLY trying to have a baby now. (I likely wouldn't make enough money to cover the exorbitant cost of child care in this area and, no judgement, we agree that we would prefer a parent stay home with any child(ren) we may have. It doesn't really make sense for me to get a job only to have to quit after a few months.) We even looked at ovulation charts and I made an inspiration board for how to convert our guest room/office to a baby room/office. At this point, the plan is for me to temp before and into my pregnancy, and then try and babysit another child once our baby is a few months old and I've gotten into the swing of things, to contribute to our income.

So there you have it internet, we're talking about job loss, big moves, future careers, babies, and money. We made a big life plan and a big life contingency plan. I'm feeling very adult.


  1. Oooh, this is exciting! All of it, even the WCS stuff. Hopefully things will go according to the better plans :)

  2. I'll be sending good vibes your way!

  3. Wow, what a day! Those are so many big issues to tackle in quick succession. Excitement about a new baby but a scary thought about moving away from each other. I know that it will all work out - because you made a plan! You're a girl after my own heart. Thinking of both of you right now!


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