The Grass Is Always Greener

Hallelujah! I got an assignment from my temp agency late Tuesday afternoon and have been working as a receptionist since Wednesday morning. Initially, the assignment was just Wednesday through Friday, but now it looks as if I'll be working here next week too. With the holidays coming up so soon, this was the perfect time to get a job; we really could use the extra money.

On the other hand, with the holidays coming up so soon, this was the least perfect time to get a job; there is much to do as we prepare for our guests who are arriving next week. Though I am incredibly grateful for this assignment (in addition to the money, it just feels so good to say, "I'm going to work"), it has made me appreciate my time at home more. I think it has made Chuk appreciate my time at home more too. Now that he has to do more chores, I think he realizes how much I do when I'm at home during the day, when previously my contributions were invisible.

Each night, I've come home exhausted and hungry. There is housework yet to do and nothing is ready for dinner. Without sitting down, I start washing dishes (or putting away clean dishes) and start dinner. By the time my work is finished, I'm getting six hours of sleep a night, or less. It is hard to remember the time when this used to be my life every night. How did I do it? I was working full-time and going to graduate school at night too. I can't imagine going to classes and doing homework now.

Though I'm tired, it is a good tired. I lie my head on the pillow each night with a sense of accomplishment--I did a lot that day. I know most of the difficulty is in the fact that I'm out of practice for this schedule and that I didn't have enough notice to set up the systems I need to make things run more smoothly at home.

Despite all this, this little job has reignited my drive to work outside the home. I know the workplace is where I need to be. I feel I have so much I want to contribute to the world and being at home is unfulfilling for me. (Note to all of you who stay at home and want to: I'm not judging you; I'm talking about what feels right for me personally.) Though I know these things about myself, I now also know that if I do have to go back to being a housewife, I will find renewed contentment in that. The pay was lousy, but the schedule and benefits were great.