Hobbling Isn’t Sexy

On a good day, I measure in at a whopping 5’4”, so let me say I understand the appeal of high heels. I even own a few pairs of (low-ish) heels. What I don’t understand is the trend of so-called “elevated high heels”.

First of all, let’s all just agree to call them platform shoes. Second of all, let’s agree they’re ugly. They look like the contraption you would use for practice if you were learning how to walk on stilts.

Part of what makes high heels attractive is that they raise your calf muscle and extend your leg line. When I wear heels, I can take longer strides, which allows me to strut my stuff. (I don’t have a lot of stuff to strut, but I like to pretend.) Platform shoes shorten one’s stride when walking and causes most people to teeter even when standing still.

I have yet to see one woman in these types of shoes who wasn’t hobbling and that includes professional models. Ladies, hobbling isn’t sexy unless you’re from 17th century China. This is one trend to which I ask: Are you freaking kidding me?!